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Ignorance At Its Finest

Normally i don’t write stuff like this but it was something I thought I should share (Originally on Facebook).

I’ve never actually been sad over a celebrities death before. Mrs. Doubtfire is one of my favorite movies. Robin Williams will always be one of my favorite comedians. Every time I see a post I tear up a little. I was shocked so much because his death is a suspected suicide. Such a happy and cheerful person was so in the dark that he could end his life. The only reason I am posting this is because I feel like I have to say this: suicide is NOT SELFISH. I never once nor will considerate it to be selfish, no matter who it happens to nor the reasons behind it. I am disappointed to see many people think that’s what it is. Suicide is a false light that someone who is surrounded by pure darkness can see as a solution. Why do I say that? Because I’ve been there. That’s been me, “alone” in the darkness sinking deeper into a painful abyss. I hated myself so much when I was younger. I truly believed that I was worthless, that nobody loved me, and I just wasn’t good enough to live anymore. When I was fifteen, I almost killed myself. I won’t go into details but my point is it can happen to anyone. When I told people that I had depression and I was sad no one believed me. I was this happy little kid who loved to make people laugh and smiled all the time. No one could see the scars on my wrists and no one could see the empty worthless I felt on the inside. Sorry for those of you who never actually knew this about me and are hearing it now.

This is why I get frustrated when people say it’s selfish. I wanted to end my life because I felt that was the only thing I could do. I didn’t want to kill myself for attention or to prove a point. I really felt that I had nothing and that I was nothing. I didn’t believe that anyone would miss me, or that anyone would care. That’s not what selfish is. Suicide wouldn’t make me happy. Suicide would make me free, or so I believed. Don’t even try to argue that it is selfish. Try and understand that a person who is suffering and considering suicide TRULY BELIEVES it is what is right. It’s a god damn shame when someone “successfully” commits suicide. If you know someone who has had these dark thoughts, don’t call them selfish, offer an ear, a hand, or anything that will help them or show them you want to help them. No one should feel that way, but they do.

This was actually a little difficult for me to write. I was lucky enough to get myself out of the darkness. Others still fight it. I hope your rest in peace Robin Williams. Your death was a tragedy and you will be missed. <3

Wedding Bells

So I was just asked to be the official photographer for my friend’s wedding and engagement shoot. I am nervous as fuck. I’ve never done a wedding. My dad did them professionally so I have him to give me tips. I guess I am mostly worried about my camera. I love my baby but I am worried that I don’t have the right equipment.

I have a Nikon D5100 with an 18-55mm lens, 55-200mm, and a 40mm macro lens. I also have a flash and some filters. I was gonna try and upgrade my camera before the fall. I want to go more professional to the Nikon D7100 or a D610.  

If it’s the lens, please let me know what I should do. I love my baby, but if it won’t work in the professional world anymore, then I’d love to trade up. 




Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.



My sheets are blue… my pillow is blue… I’m fucked

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